


Playhouse

by carrowmetohell



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Spoilers for 3x08, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Symbiotic Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, spoilers for 3X09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:36:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8974444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrowmetohell/pseuds/carrowmetohell
Summary: **Spoilers for S3**"What's taking you so long? Huh?" Annalise hissed, "think I'm going to feel guilty because I won't!""I love you Annalise." Frank replied, squeezing his eyes shut and placing the gun barrel to his throat.





	1. Waiting game

Bonnie was waiting on the front porch for Annalise to return, the cold biting at her skin. She always felt like she was waiting; waiting to be accepted, forgiven, loved, to recover or even simply die. It could have been so much easier if I had just given up and died all those years ago.She mused, recalling the house that had once been her prison. Bonnie shivered suddenly, unsure if it was the cold or the unwanted memories creeping into her bones that made her shudder. She could have ended it all but she had chosen to live and living meant eternally waiting. This life was her purgatory and now Bonnie was sick of it. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been happy or even content. She'd settle for content.

The blonde sighed softly, resting a heavy head in delicate hands. Things had been so different when Sam was alive. Sometimes she missed how it all used to be. Or maybe it was just him she missed. Bonnie wasn't really sure which. She just knew the difference would be lost on Annalise, that her loving boss would likely kill her if she ever found out. Still, Bonnie couldn't help herself. You never could help yourself, she thought weakly. Bonnie cast her mind back to Sam's therapy sessions that felt like a life time ago. He had been kind to her back then. Kind in ways Annalise seemed incapable of.

For a moment in Coalport, with Frank, things had been different again. Bonnie had felt free, like a weight had been lifted from her small shoulders for a time. She had felt like she belonged again. That simply existing in that space there with him was enough for them both. But things weren't different and she'd been wrong. Bonnie had been a fool to consider the possibility that anything would change. Damned fool, always trusting men after all you've been through?! They lie Bonnie. Men lie. She heard Annalise's scathing tone echo the thoughts in her own mind. Ms Keating's voice had been as clear as if she stood there before her now. But she wasn't and Bonnie was still alone; waiting. She'd always been alone.

Bonnie wasn't Eve or Nate, nor was she Laurel or Michaela. She wasn't enough and it hurt. Her head rose slowly, tears pricking at tired eyes. The blonde did her best to swallow them back, along with the lump in her throat but it was hard. Bonnie knew her tears served no purpose here, that crying never changed anything. It only ever served to make her look weak and pathetic. But you are. Her mind whispered, her enemy in solitude. Only she had allowed herself to believe she was worth something after everything that had happened. But Frank had left her there, in that motel. It had been a stark reminder of the truth they could have buried in Oregon.

Knowing the truth did nothing to still the hurt she felt. She still couldn't quite accept that he'd abandoned her after everything she'd risked to see him. They both knew what Annalise would do to her for that little betrayal and yet Frank had still left her. Men were always proving themselves to be the same but Bonnie kept believing they could be different. She should never have forgot Annalise's words of wisdom.

"Men lie. It's all they're good at."

Annalise had always known what was best for her but still Bonnie tried to make decisions on her own. It just wasn't fair that she always ended up wrong. That she always needed her boss's help. It just wasn't fair. Bonnie laughed bitterly, the sound harsh against the still night air. Her thoughts drifted back to Frank. He was waiting inside. This time he was the one left alone. Bonnie hadn't thought it wise to wait with him for Annalise, this mess was between them now. Or at least it had been until she'd got involved in Coalport. "Idiot." Bonnie hissed aloud, staring into the darkness ahead.

Frank probably felt isolated in there all on his own. Left with nothing but his thoughts and regrets to occupy him. He probably felt like the walls were drawing in on him. Just as he felt they had in prison. Guilt leached into her mind at the intrusive thought before she snapped herself free from its clutches. This was only a taste of his own damn medicine. He deserved this. What the hell did she had to feel guilty for? Bonnie wasn't going to do this again. Be the punching bag and take the blame, the bad decisions, the mistakes. No. She had plenty of her own without wearing Frank's too. She could be more than this, couldn't she..? Hesitation lingered at the end of her thought.

Still she could imagine him wringing his hands, nervous, awaiting his fate just as she did her own. And she couldn't help but think it would have been nice to wait inside with him. They had done so in the past, found solace in one another. They would drink in the cellar and share secrets. Confiding in one another their marred pasts. After she'd killed Rebecca that had all changed. The house had felt sick. No. It was before that. Perhaps it started after Wes had killed Sam? Bonnie wasn't sure she cared anymore, or that it really mattered. But of course she cared and deep down she knew it had never really changed. The house had always been sick but when Annalise lost the baby it became cancerous. This had all started with Frank and now Annalise wanted him to pay for it. She wanted to end it and that scared Bonnie. She wasn't sure she'd be able to survive anymore.

The night air whispered at her skin as she continued to wait. Patient and loyal as always. Annalise never seemed to see Bonnie's diligence in that way. Her boss seemed to merely consider her an irritation or burden. "Why do you do this to yourself Bon?" She whispered, voice broken, into the darkness. Knowing full well it was because she had nowhere else to go. And that as bad as it got-which it always did- this was her home. Annalise Keating and Frank Delphino were her family. Sam had been too when he was alive. He wasn't a good man. He manipulated his patients and took advantage of those in his care but she couldn't help but remember how safe he had allowed her to feel. This damned house was where she belonged.

A car door opened and closed, capturing Bonnie's attention at once. She turned her head right to see Annalise walking towards her. Something flickered across the ferocious woman's expression. Did she really look surprised to find her loyal ward here? Bonnie wasn't sure, she suspected Annalise was more likely bored or disappointed. But her mind went blank and she was owned once more.

"He in there?" Annalise asked simply, her tone slightly thicker than usual. Bonnie couldn't bring herself to speak and instead nodded meekly to confirm. "Go home." Annalise commanded, her voice softer than Bonnie was expecting it to be. The powerful woman strode with purpose towards the house ready to face the man responsible for her unborn son's death.

"No," Bonnie started, moving to stand with wide eyes.

"You had your time with him, lied to my face about it. This is my time." Annalise spoke fast and curt, the words rushing out as they did whenever she destroyed a witness in court. It was the kind of speech that broached no room for argument or complaint. It was intended to leave you reeling and wounded. Bonnie remained silent and made no further effort to move. On the porch steps, Annalise kept her eyes fixed on Bonnie, glowering down at her. "Leave!" Annalise demanded wrenching the door open to finish this once and for all.

Bonnie watched the door slam shut and winced. She'd been left to wait again.


	2. Rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final events of 3x08 Bonnie, Frank and Annalise.

Bonnie edged forward along the hallway towards the the room Frank and Annalise occupied. She could hear Annalise shouting at him and made an effort to shut the front door quietly so as not to disturb them. At least not until she was with them anyway. Bonnie simply couldn’t stand going home to wait as instructed but she could at least stand back while Annalise dealt with Frank in her own way. 

Bonnie just had to believe that they would work this out, that somehow through all the ruin they could recover. Yet, Bonnie knew if she had honestly believed that she would never have come inside to intervene against Annalise’s wishes. Annalise always did things her own way, there were no exceptions. 

“I love you Annalise,” she heard Frank’s breathy response to Keating’s berating and a cold sense of dread gripped her heart. Bonnie hurried forwards but suddenly the corridor vanished and she saw herself kicking Frank out of her apartment again. The raw memory flashed through her mind with a realism that winded her. Yet, the pain she had felt at his betrayal didn’t seem to matter anymore. Instead Bonnie felt an overwhelming guilt and panic wash over her. She hadn’t felt this terrified in a long time.

The memory met a watery death, drowned in rain, blanket forts and board games flooding into her mind. Then children dressed in brightly coloured parkas ran past her, bee-lining for a climbing frame in a small town park. A man she recognised chased them, smiling back at her and encouraging her to follow. Bonnie took a step forward but the scene changed again, the same children giggled next to her in shorts, building sandcastles and paddling in rock pools. She reached out to touch them but they evaded her grasp like smoke. 

Now she found herself sat on a tartan picnic blanket, serving up potato salad in the warm summer sun. The vision continued, Bonnie was halfway up a steep hiking trail, wiping her brow from exertion, Frank passed her a bottle of water. She opened her mouth to say something to him but no words came out. Suddenly there were sandwiches in her hand and she was passing them to the children she’d seen earlier. Abruptly, the vision dissolved before her. Permanently grounding her back in the present. 

Bonnie hoped that moment spent in their fantasy hadn't ruined her chance to save him. The seconds counted in situations like this and she had wasted a precious few. Frank needed her, Bonnie's gaze flittered towards Annalise, they both did.  
“Frank? Don’t.” She exclaimed, stepping into the open doorway slowly. Her eyes had widened when she had seen the gun at his throat. Black steel against his shaved throat. The image scared her. The gun was real and so was his intent. She could see in his eyes that Frank did not intend on leaving the office alive tonight.

Leaving her alone in the motel was one thing but this- leaving her for good? Bonnie felt sick. Frank couldn't leave her like this. He couldn't leave them like this. Even if that night had meant nothing to him, it shouldn't end like this. She couldn’t let it.

Bonnie shook her head, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Urging him to put the gun down, to stop all of this. They just needed to sit down and talk, why could no one see that but her? Annalise didn’t move, her voice ice as she demanded Bonnie leave the room. Bonnie could see her body was ridged. Annalise had refused to even turn and look at her as she intruded. 

“This just hurts her more.” Bonnie continued, pushing forward, arguing that he wouldn’t help Annalise by doing this. Frank thought he was fixing things, that he was making amends but he wasn’t. This was not the answer. Bonnie just had to make him see that.

Annalise countered her argument, eyes still boring into Frank. “You do this for me.” She demanded, cold and bitter. Annalise wanted him to believe she wanted this, that Bonnie was just complicating matters for her own selfish pathetic reasons. Bonnie always had to interfere, that woman did not know when to quit.

Annalise knew the power she held in this room. This was her house, her domain, her Bonnie and her Frank. This was her world and that was everything to them. Annalise owned them both and she knew it. They would do anything for her. She revelled in the fact, the power, the control. She lived for it.

“This isn’t what she wants.” Bonnie pressed again, pleading Frank lowered the gun with sorrowful eyes. The tears continued to flow as she edged forward. Maybe she could grab the gun from him, she had to stop him from pulling the trigger whatever the cost.

Annalise disagreed, “this is exactly what I want.”

“You made your point!” Bonnie shouted, directing her anger at Annalise. How could she be so cruel to Frank? Could she not see this was all Sam’s fault? That Frank was just as broken as they all were? The three of them had been used and manipulated by Sam. Everything always came full circle to him. 

Bonnie knew now that this had never started with Frank and Lila. It had started then, during the Mahoney case all those years ago. Sam had blackmailed Frank into killing Lila. This had all started with Sam. The same man that had been her psychologist, the man that had helped her so much, the man that had ruined her relationship with Annalise, the man that had cheated on the woman she loved, the man that ruined everything he touched. It was all Sam.

Sam had treated this home like a playhouse. Everyone in it, mere dolls to play with and manipulate. Annalise had been his first victim. He’d used her insecurities and flaws against her, persuaded her he was the best thing for her. The same tactics he had used on Bonnie during their sessions. Tonight Sam was truly dead and Annalise held the strings of them all. Bonnie had to stop her from cutting Franks.   
“She can’t survive this!” Bonnie protested, still appealing to his desire to please the one woman that ruled them both. Her voice cracked with emotion as she yelled, she hoped it was enough to bring him back.

“PULL IT!” Annalise shouted, persisting that he break. She could see his trigger finger itch. Annalise so desperately wanted him to pull it, to end this, to make up for what he did. This was the only way this could end, of that she was certain.  
“I can’t survive this!” Bonnie tried, desperation clawing at her words. It was true. If Frank did this, if Annalise made him do this it would ruin everything. There would be no recovery from this and she didn’t want that. Bonnie wanted them to be whole again. 

Instead she could see his blood and brains spraying them both, Frank slumping down to his knees, limp and lifeless. If he hit the ground she knew they both would next. Bonnie could barely find the strength to stand as it was. She knew after the gunshot Annalise would collapse on the floor with him, sobbing in his blood. None of them would survive this if he pulled the trigger. She had to save them from this madness.

Annalise saw red, she was furious. Who the hell was Bonnie to come in here and interrupt her justice. This was her pain, her loss. Frank had betrayed her and she was hungry for his blood. If Frank killed himself it would be far better than sending another hitman after him. There was a sick poetic kind of justice in his suicide. “Do it, pull the trigger!” She screamed, longing to smell gunpowder.

“Please don’t! Frank please don’t!” Bonnie was shouting at Frank too now. His blurry vision flitted between them both. Who should he listen to? Who was telling him the truth? Annalise wanted him to die-he wanted to die but what if Bonnie was right? What if it was all another one of Annalise’s self-destructive ruses and that his suicide would destroy her once and for all? That woman was so volatile she’d do anything to win. Even if it meant another desperate descent to rock bottom. 

“Do it! Do it! DO IT FOR ME, DO IT! DO IT FOR ME!”


	3. Conclusion *revised*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised update of chapter 3

“Sam was wrong about you Frank,” Annalise confirmed his fears with a simple statement, tearing down the hope he had with one admission. She had always been a viper with the talent to strike deep into the heart of her opponents greatest desires and darkest thoughts. She knew exactly how to hurt people the most, especially those closest to her. Annalise was a woman that crept under your skin. She was just excellent at discovering the little things that made people tick. Right now Frank felt like C4.

“She doesn’t mean any of this” Bonnie blurted desperately. Unsaid words sticking in her throat, almost choking her. She tried to convey them to her friend-her, she wasn't exactly sure what Frank was to her but that clarity wouldn't come from a dead man.

Annalise stepped forward, eyes flashing with righteous fury. She kept her eyes trained on him, daring him to pull the trigger. This was a case she had to win. The judge and jury might be Frank but she wanted to be his executioner. If only he moved his finger just a fraction more, squeezed the trigger and ended this all. Maybe he'd kill the pain in her soul too. He had to die and she would ensure that. Annalise knew exactly what to say next. Wincing she spoke with a voice that lacked neither conviction or loathing, “you’re a sociopath." She spoke with such power that Bonnie almost found herself believing the woman. The hairs stood up on the back of Bonnie's neck and she suppressed the shudder that threatened to consume her. Annalise continued, barely missing a beat in her tirade. "That’s all you’ll ever be; sick and depraved.” 

A silent tear rolled down his cheek, or maybe it was two. Frank couldn't tell anymore, he wanted it all to be over. He bit his lip, struggling to contain the sob that wanted to escape and wrack his body.

“It’s time for you to go.” Annalise urged and Frank almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. It was like she was dismissing him from work like she had so many times before, just like she had in the old days. Frank almost expected Sam to enter the room, wrap his arms around her waist and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. He expected to see Bonnie lurking in the corner, coyly grabbing her arm and averting her gaze from the happy couple. Back then he'd worn his suit with pride. Oh he'd looked the part, a real dapper gentleman with a charming rough around the edges swagger. 

They'd all been such a force back then, safe in that infernal house. How fitting that it would all end within the same four walls it began.

“You know who you are deep down inside." Frank did and he hated himself for it. "That’s why you brought that gun right? So you could do something good for once. This is your chance.” How could he argue with that?

He felt like he was 13 and back in court. Frank remembered the prosecution toying with him, backing him into a corner to confess his guilt and give them exactly what they wanted. The difference here was that he actually wanted to give Annalise what she wanted. He wanted to make everything better. Frank wasn't sure it was even possible to but he was desperate. Desperate and afraid. He hadn’t felt fear like this in such a long time. 

“Look at me Frank!” Bonnie commanded, sniffing back her tears. She had to be strong for all of them. “Only me.” The reckoning stilled, but just for a moment. They all felt it though, the change in the room. The tension felt final, but to what end? Bonnie had to hope it would all end up in her favour- in Frank's favour.

Bonnie stepped forward in front of Annalise, barely blocking his view of her with her slight frame. Frank kept his gaze on her nonetheless. Annalise was forced to take a step back, taking a back seat in the exchange. Shock pulled at her features as she calculated how to act next.

“This only makes it worse for her.

“I can handle it.” Annalise spoke to Bonnie now. Using the tone she did when she attempted to convince the blonde she wasn’t over working herself or that she was coping well

“She’s saying this because she’s hurt.”

Frank baulked. Of course she was hurt. How could Bonnie not see how necessary this was. His face was soaked, tears streaming down his face.

“If you do this you’re making her a killer.” Bonnie argues, desperately clawing at radon

“It’s what she wants.” He snapped

“It’s not”

“It is!”

The women spoke in unison.

“This was Sam!”

“Sam didn’t kill anyone. It was you.”

The accusation struck his resolve. A pathetic childlike expression washed over his face as he made the discussion to pull the trigger. Franks finger twitched and Bonnie panicked.

“I need you here Frank

“She’s playing you!

“You were there.” His eyes landed on her. For Bonnie to admit this in front of Annalise after he left her was shocking 

“That night meant everything to me.” 

Annalise felt a lapse in her anger. Her stomach fell between her knees and she felt as though the ground had been removed from under her. Was Bonnie saying what she was hearing?

Her Bonnie?

Realisation cracked across her face like a mirror shattering. 

Bonnie didn’t look at her.

“You deserve better than me.” The first words he spoke were gritty and raw. He sounded broken and Bonnie wanted nothing more than to put him back together again.

Frank sat down, hold the gun firmly with both hand now.

“No,” Bonnie whimpered, hands both defensive and protective palms up towards gim. She kneels on the ground before him. Eyes pleasing him to stop. To live.

Frank panted, ready to fire.

“I’ll die if you do this so please don’t.” 

He didn’t want to hurt Bonnie but he needed to do this.

“Don’t. Don’t.” She repeated

“You know me. More than anyone. So if I lose you.”

She reached for his hand holding, holding his wrist in her cold grasp. Bonnie wished her hands were warmer and could offer him more comfort. At least he wasn't pulling away from her, maybe she could get through to him after all.

“Live for me please.” She urged. Bonnie squeezed Frank's hand. The same hands that had held her so tenderly in Coalport. He heart sunk into her stomach. How could those hands now be holding a gun with the intent to kill himself. The same hands that strangled Lila, that took the money that had cost the life of Annalise's unborn child. /

Shaking herself free of the thoughts, she continued, “you love me right? You might not be able to say it but you love me.” Bonnie spoke with the conviction of a woman that believed what she said. He had to love her. She loved him, in a way. The two had a bond that was special. They had to.

Bonnie saw dreams of Oregan in his eyes and pressed on.

“You love me.” Her voice was soft but heavy with the weight of his life on her shoulders. 

Frank faltered for a moment and he looked like he might believe her. Bonnie took the opportunity to make her move. Her heart raced with anticipation. What if he resisted her? What if he panicked and shot himself, or her or Annalise? Burying these thoughts with a gulp, she acted.

Bonnie grabbed the gun, gently attempting to remove it from his white knuckle grasp.

“You love me.” She whispered.

Her hand extended to the barrel and she pulled it away from his throat.

“You love me.” She gasped, releasing the anxiety she’d been holding in her heart the moment the barrel was out of harms way.

Frank would live.

She placed the gun away from them, a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He collapsed onto her lap, letting the sobs overwhelm him.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You should have done it.”

Annalise left them disappointed and disgusted as she had so many nights before. Tonight was different. She had drawn a line in the sand with Frank’s blood.

**Author's Note:**

> Original post: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12254886/1/Playhouse


End file.
